Hey, Friends! How was your Easter? Mine was awesome!
Thanks so much for your help in determining the maker of my favorite shoes last Friday! I'm going to hunt down all the leads y'all gave!
So, besides the beautiful Easter weekend (I'm currently giddy from a condition I call "excessive sunshine"), I have another reason to celebrate today. Guess what? This afternoon is my final session in the 13 week fitness program I've been doing, P90x. Remember when we talked about it last January? Well, after this afternoon it's official--I'm a p90x Grad!
Wow, I feel so good.
I mean, I'm proud of myself. This really pushed me. Not only physically, but in discipline as well. And while I knew I'd finish when I started, the reality of completing this intense workout schedule makes me want to celebrate. I was an athlete a million years ago. I love being outside and doing outside things... and doing fun things like hiking and water sports... but I haven't done anything like this in years. And for those who are wondering about actual results--yes, I can see and feel (and measure) the difference in my body. I don't look like the models in the p90x advertisements or even the chicks in the videos, but I am stronger, more flexible... and possibly in need of new clothes.
I feel confident. I'm not talking so much in my appearance as I am confident in the ability I have now as a P90x Grad (a.k.a my mega muscles) and just the knowledge that I did this thing. I don't look at a box and think, "I hope it's light so I can carry it". Now it's more like, "I can do this. I'm stronger than I've ever been."
Do I have more I want to accomplish? Absolutely.
Are there people out there in better shape than me, more flexible, stronger, and thinner? Definitely.
But you know what? I'm a P90x grad. I accomplished something big. I developed discipline with exercise, discpline I will continue--after I take a week long break. :0) And that's nothing to sneeze at.
I'm just "supposing" here, but maybe confidence is one of the best things discipline can give us. It definitely makes us better writers. It establishes the pattern of writing in our lives, exercises the writing "muscles" and our imaginations, and helps us accomplish a goal of crafting a novel. And I think a side effect of all of those things is a healthy dose of confidence--a sense that while there might be better writers out there and we have a lot to learn, that we did something big. We:
-finished that first draft
-rewrote half a book on the advice of mulitple crit partners
-queried that dream agent despite the fear of rejection
-wrote that synopsis
-started a blog and wondered if anyone would ever care to read it
-wrote multiple queries
-entered a writing contest...
Rinse and repeat--refusing to give up. Vowing to learn, to study the craft, the market, and the reader. Wondering if this next story would get us that agent or complete the contract for a number for a publisher, etc. Doing it over and over again, for as many stories as are ours to tell.
I'm not saying that there aren't moments of despair, when overwhelming discouragement threatens everything. When we wonder if we're that person who everyone says is a brilliant writer, when in fact we're the literary equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard. I'm not saying there aren't moments of doom, when we forget to back up our hard drives, see the blue screen of death, and lose everything. I'm not saying we ever need to stop learning.
But you know what? Because of these last three months of p90x, I know my limitations. I also know where I soar. I know what I want to work on, where I've seen a lot of progress, and where I hope to be six months from now. I have confidence, even in my weakness. Because I know where I need to work.
If we're having confession time, I'll say here that I haven't been as discplined in my writing recently. And my confidence has definitely suffered. Sitting here on this Easter night, I'm convinced the two are somehow linked.
What do you think?
See y'all Wednesday!
8 hours ago